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Chris Cravens on Getting Away with God For Solitude

Clip from My Recent Interview

I recently sat down with Chris Cravens for an interview.  Chris served as the pastor of Findlay Bible Methodist Church, in Findlay, OH for years.  During that time, the church experienced a tremendous turnaround and solid, sustainable growth.

Mentoring for Small church pastors to prevent pastoral burnout www.darrellstetler2.com/coaching

Chris just crackles with passion for God and lost people.

I interviewed him for an hour, covering all kinds of topics, and that interview will be released on my Small Church Pastor coaching program very soon.

But this was a key moment in the interview for me… when he talked about getting away with God for times of solitude and prayer.  Watch it here:

Wow… Mind blown.

To recap:

  1. Each week, you need to retreat for at least one hour of intense fasting, prayer, and solitude with God.
  2. Each month, you need to take a day for the same.
  3. Each year, you need to take 3-4 days… or a week.
  4. Every 7 years, you need to take a month of solitude and prayer.

What do you think?  Is he right?  How can you do that?  If you can’t do it NOW… how can you work toward it?

 

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Why Willpower is Hard to Find

5 Minute Mentoring

If you’re like me, you’ve struggled to MAKE yourself do things.  Even things you know will help your situation… they’re still hard.  But don’t despair! 

Increasing your willpower can help avoid pastoral burnout

To that end, here’s a life-altering thing I’m learning right now about my own willpower, captured in this week’s 5-Minute Mentoring Video.

One of my biggest regrets about the early years of my pastoral ministry is that I didn’t invest in a regular, paid coaching program for pastors.  While no one can ever say what “would have happened” I feel pretty confident that I’d be further up the road, my church would be better off, and I’d have skipped over some of the mistakes I’ve made.

If you’re a smaller church pastor, you know that not all coaching is created equal.  Some of it is more fitted for large churches with multiple staff, large budgets… churches that have approximately the same population in their bathroom as your sanctuary!

If you’d like to hear more about it, check out my Small Church Pastor Coaching Membership.  Here’s what’s included:

1. Video Coaching Class

One Unit per month is added, and members have access to the ENTIRE ARCHIVE of past topics.  Current and upcoming topics include:

  • Creating An Outreach Culture
  • Recruiting and Leading Volunteers
  • Small Church Financial Leadership
  • How to Follow Up on Guests
  • Personal Spiritual Growth
  • Lower Your Sunday Stress – Preaching Habits
  • Personal Systems
  • Marriage & Ministry
  • Morning Routines
  • Intentional Leadership

Each Unit includes a 30-60 minute video training, handouts, resources, and links to sermons you can preach on these topics in your own church.

2. Private video messaging group for Q&A!

I use the app Marco Polo for Q&A, and respond as quickly as possible to your further questions on any topic in the archive.

3. Done-For-You Resources

RESOURCES INCLUDE:
* Complete Sermon Resource file – the best from 15 years of messages

* Graphic Design Templates:

  • Outreach Invitation Card
  • Guest Connection Card
  • Church Brochure
  • Plus tips on where to get them printed dirt cheap!

2 ebooks (including early release)

  • 7 Steps to a Killer Guest Follow-Up System
  • Top 9 Tech Tools I’m Using to Get More Done

40 Day Church Prayer and Fasting Campaign

  • Video Messages
  • daily texts
  • Sign up sheets
  • Social Media graphics

* Administrative File (Worship Program Swipe File, Sign-up Sheets)

* ALL 5 Minute Mentoring Videos before they are publicly posted.

(20 topics and counting! Personal time management, leading change, Lowering Sunday Stress, Sharing the Gospel, and many more!)

The Cost

I’m one of those guys who quickly scans what’s included, and goes to the bottom for the cost. 🙂

This $30/mo membership is packed with valuable information that is specifically tailored to the needs of small church pastors. Small Church pastors are incredibly important, but often do not receive the respect they deserve… and too often, they don’t respect themselves enough to invest in their leadership growth!

Invest in your ministry today, and get complete access to the library of small church coaching videos as well as an archive of sermons, documents, administrative helps, hours of recorded videos, and a helpful video messaging private group where you can ask further questions. Find your supportive community for small church pastors today!

My Coaching membership for small church pastors are available here: darrellstetler2.com/pastorcoaching

My Guarantee:

If you don’t think it’s worth it, cancel in the first 14 days, and you’ll get your money back.  Zero risk, No Hassle.

 

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Three Main Marketing Pieces for Small Churches

5 Minute Mentoring

Far too many small churches are content with sloppiness in their marketing promotional material… or even it being non-existent!

5 Minute Mentoring & small church pastor coaching from Darrell Stetler

This can be for several reasons:

    • they don’t know what’s available.
    • they don’t have time or ideas for it.
    • they haven’t thought through an outreach strategy.
    • they don’t have the skills or the money to update it.

I’m not saying you have to have everything perfect, but if reaching new people is important to you, then you need to care enough to talk to them with excellence.

I understand that you don’t have a graphic artist on staff at a smaller church, and that you can’t put a professional design on every event.  But don’t let the fact that you can’t do everything, stop you from doing core things well.

Here are 3 reasons small church pastors should do some work on updating your communication pieces:

  1. Updating your marketing pieces helps remove the “cringe factor” from your congregation inviting.

  2. No one yet ever was saved at a church they never heard of.

  3. If you use the right partners, it doesn’t have to be extremely expensive.

Here’s a quick video that shares what I think are the 3 core marketing & communication pieces that you need:

I have a more specific recommendations on printing & design that I share in my Small Church Pastor Coaching membership site.  If you’re interested in more on this, including where to get the best deals on graphic design and printing, check that out!

 

 

 

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5 Bad Reasons Pastors Say NO

5 Minute Mentoring

Ever known a NO person?  You know what I mean.  They have a habit of saying NO, maybe even before the question is asked?

Well, that’s not all bad.  It’s important to be able to say no when you need to!

But what if NO becomes a bad habit, and you say no for the wrong reasons?

Here’s a quick video to help you work through that:

Quick recap: Here are some bad reasons pastors say NO:

1. They are afraid to fail.

2. They have a negative attitude.

3. It was someone else’s idea.

4. Laziness.

Let’s be honest.  We already have enough people who think pastors only work 1 day per week.  Let’s not give them another reason to think that by saying no just because we don’t want to deal with some hard work.

5. They can’t do it themselves right now.

Yes, this is a bad reason.  Instead, say, “I’ll do it with you for a month, then hand it off to you as your ministry.”

 

There you go!  Hope your week is fantastic!

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7 Good Reasons Pastors Should Say NO

5 Minute Mentoring

Peter Drucker once said something about like this, “A prerequisite for a career in ministry should be a 6 week intensive course in saying ‘NO.’ Yet no such course exists.”

Can you relate as a pastor?  It’s tough to find the wisdom to know when to say YES and when to say NO.  Often we feel pressure to say yes when:

  • The person asking is a valued leader in the church.
  • The person asking is a new attender.
  • You said YES to something similar in the past.
  • You feel guilty about not “doing enough.”
  • You feel that spirituality is mainly related to activity.

Pastors struggle with all these things, pretty much weekly.

Here’s a quick 5 minute video that will help.  It’s entitled 7 Good Reasons Pastors Should Say NO.

If you’d like a TON more of this kind of content, you need to check this out:

I’ve decided to open up my Small Church Coaching Membership site to any pastor.

Here’s what’s included:

1. Video Coaching Class

One Unit per month is added, and members have access to the ENTIRE ARCHIVE of past topics.  Current and upcoming topics include:

  • Creating An Outreach Culture
  • Recruiting and Leading Volunteers
  • Small Church Financial Leadership
  • How to Follow Up on Guests
  • Personal Spiritual Growth
  • Lower Your Sunday Stress – Preaching Habits
  • Personal Systems
  • Marriage & Ministry
  • Morning Routines
  • Intentional Leadership

Each Unit includes a 30-60 minute video training, handouts, resources, and links to sermons you can preach on these topics in your own church.

2. Private video messaging group for Q&A!

I use the app Marco Polo for Q&A, and respond as quickly as possible to your further questions on any topic in the archive.

3. Done-For-You Resources

RESOURCES INCLUDE:
* Complete Sermon Resource file – the best from 15 years of messages

* Graphic Design Templates:

  • Outreach Invitation Card
  • Guest Connection Card
  • Church Brochure
  • Plus tips on where to get them printed dirt cheap!

2 ebooks (including early release)

  • 7 Steps to a Killer Guest Follow-Up System
  • Top 9 Tech Tools I’m Using to Get More Done

40 Day Church Prayer and Fasting Campaign

  • Video Messages
  • daily texts
  • Sign up sheets
  • Social Media graphics

* Administrative File (Worship Program Swipe File, Sign-up Sheets)

* ALL 5 Minute Mentoring Videos before they are publicly posted.

(20 topics and counting! Personal time management, leading change, Lowering Sunday Stress, Sharing the Gospel, and many more!)

The Cost

I’m one of those guys who quickly scans what’s included, and goes to the bottom for the cost. 🙂

This $30/mo membership is packed with valuable information that is specifically tailored to the needs of small church pastors. Small Church pastors are incredibly important, but often do not receive the respect they deserve… and too often, they don’t respect themselves enough to invest in their leadership growth!

Invest in your ministry today, and get complete access to the library of small church coaching videos as well as an archive of sermons, documents, administrative helps, hours of recorded videos, and a helpful video messaging private group where you can ask further questions. Find your supportive community for small church pastors today!

My Coaching membership for small church pastors are available here: darrellstetler2.com/pastorcoaching

My Guarantee:

If you don’t think it’s worth it, cancel in the first 14 days, and you’ll get your money back.  Zero risk, No Hassle.

If you’re interested, click here to be re-directed to a simple purchase form.

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Free Video Pastor Coaching Group

Just an idea I'm testing...

I’ve been silent for quite some time on this blog.  It’s been quite a journey over the last 9 months, a journey mostly covered in sheetrock dust.

My family, with all 7 kids, lived in a 3 bed, 1 full bath parsonage of about 1100 sq. ft. for the last 15 years.  (OK, we didn’t have 7 kids 15 years ago, but…)  Last fall, we bought a 4,300 sq ft home (6 bed, 3 full/2 half bath), and started a remodel process that took us about 6 months to complete.  I’ll tell the whole story sometime… it’s a story full of answered prayers, and God’s amazing faithfulness.  If you want pictures of our very own “fixer-upper,” I would point you toward this video tour I put on Facebook early in April of 2018.

But for now, I’m coming back to the blog.

I’m focusing in for a time on a new idea that I’m testing.  I love

  • pastors
  • local churches
  • coaching
  • providing resources that save time and energy

I want to do a better job sharing things that I’ve learned over the years.  So I’m here today to announce:

Limited Space Free Pastor Coaching Group

This temporary coaching program will:

  • be 1-3 months long (depending on how it goes)
  • be entirely on your own time
  • enable you to ask quick questions & receive 5 minute answers and feedback on issues you care about
  • Use the video messaging app Marco Polo
  • ONLY INVOLVE 15 PASTORS at once.  I’m afraid I can’t handle more than that.

So what kind of issues will I be talking about?  Well, it depends on what questions you ask, but I’m happy to share ideas on:

  • leadership issues
  • administrative tools and techniques
  • outreach
  • work/life balance
  • pastoral emotional health
  • pastoral care
  • preaching
  • habits and systems

 

So, if you want to try it out, here’s how you join up:

  1. Click this link.
  2. Install the MarcoPolo app on your mobile phone.
  3. You might have to come back here and click that link on #1 again… not sure.
  4. Watch the welcome video, then think of a question you’d like some coaching on.

 

I’ll be watching to see how this comes together, and I’ll cut it off after 15 guys join.  I’ll check out your video questions, think it over, and then record a response.

I have no idea how this will work.  🙂 But hey, that’s the joy of trying stuff… just to find out what happens.

Looking forward to chatting with you!

 

 

 

 

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Do This When You Have to Confront Your Leader

I recently made a leadership decision that was fraught with some amount of peril.

Most good leadership decisions are. If you’re not risking, you’re probably not leading as aggressively as you should.

I was contacted by someone who expressed genuine concern about the decision I had made. I was so impressed by them and their attitude, I decided to share it with you.

Here’s what they did right:

1. They contacted me privately.

They did not confront me publicly, setting up a situation where I felt I had to prove my point or lose face.  They did not rant on Facebook.

2. They communicated their appreciation for my leadership.

Honest appreciation is the oil that greases the gears of life and relationships, my friends. Use more of it.

3. They assumed they might not have all the information I had.

Usually, people assume that the leader doesn’t have all the information they have… and the decision was a bad one.  (And that could be the case!)  But it is safer and far more gracious to assume that the leader has information they don’t have.

This one little tweak raises you near a Level Ninja Conflict Manager.

If you don’t have this perspective, you won’t be able to listen… you’ll come in fighting to be heard, not to listen.

4. They communicated their concern about the situation.

I never mind when someone communicates their concern. As C.S. Lewis says in the Chronicles of Narnia, “If there is a wasp in the room, I should like to know where it is.” I’d rather know ahead of time if someone has concerns.

If you’re a leader who can’t handle that, then find something else to do – don’t pastor a church. But they sure made it easier to handle!

5. They recognized my authority in the situation.

I’m not really that guy that needs the props, or just needs someone to notice I’m in charge. But admit it: when your kids are respectful of your authority in your family, it takes the temperature down in the discussion. Same way here.

6. They affirmed their willingness to trust & follow my leadership, even if I didn’t agree with them.

This was huge. I almost felt like crying. As a leader in several organizations, I was overwhelmed that day, and carrying another person’s frustrations was not what I needed.

In a leader with a good heart, trusting them even when you disagree doesn’t make them more likely to be an idiot – it makes them more SERIOUS about their leadership!

 

What happened INSIDE me at that moment was fascinating.

  1. I was MORE willing to hear their perspective.
  2. I was MORE challenged to lead carefully.
  3. I was MORE energized to lead well.
  4. I was MORE thankful to have them around.
  5. I was MORE likely to seek out their counsel next time.
  6. I was MORE impressed with their readiness to lead on a higher level.

I think this list what happens in all leaders who have a sincere and good heart for the people they lead and love.

What happens inside YOU when someone does this?  Let me know below, or if you’re on social media, join in the conversation on my Twitter or Facebook!

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We’re hiring!

Check out the vision video!

The church where I pastor in Oklahoma City is hiring a new pastoral position.

www.okcbiblemethodist.org logo

Our church has been growing:

  • We’re running 100, with a 9 week unique worshippers number of 175.
  • Our Food Pantry continues to grow, with 22,000 served in the last 12 months.
  • We are working on building a new fellowship and food pantry space.
  • We’re working on breaking through the 200 barrier.
  • We’re investigating moving to multiple worship services.
  • We are planning to help plant new churches over the next 4 years.

We feel like this is a strategic moment for us to hire new talent, to help us break through to the next level.

Our Mission

Our mission is to help people in Oklahoma City, “Love God, Love Others, Serve the World.”

Oklahoma City Bible Methodist Church Process Logo

Here’s the way we try to make that mission statement real:

  • We budget toward it (we have a “Love God” budget area, a “Love Others” budget section, etc.)
  • We program toward it (we have programs that are designed to encourage “Love God”, etc.)
  • I preach toward it (each message series is designed to move one of those forward)
  • AND NOW: We are staffing toward it (A Love God Pastor, a Love Others Pastor and a Serve the World pastor)

Currently, we’re seeking to add a staff position in either the “Love God” area or the “Serve the World” area.

 

We’re looking for a self-motivated, gifted person who:

  • has a servant’s heart
  • is ready to grow and stretch in their leadership skills
  • feels a passion for Jesus and His Kingdom and
  • loves cities and the people who live there
  • is passionate about helping people grow in one of the areas of our mission

Below you’ll find a video that gives a detailed explanation of our mission and vision for the church staff.  Please take the time to watch it if you’re interested in this ministry opportunity!

If you’re interested in more details, job descriptions, etc., please feel free to contact me via email at darrellstetler2@gmail.com, and get me your contact info and resume.

Staff Video – Dream Team Vision from Darrell Stetler II on Vimeo.

 

 

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How to Make a Portable Baptistry for a Small Church

Baptism is a beautiful moment as new Christians celebrate their transformation & new life in Christ… but what happens if you’re a small church without a built-in baptistry?

Sure, you could use a creek.  But what if you live in Oklahoma City and you don’t have a creek?

You could go out of town and do a lake — but then you sacrifice some of the chance that your new Christians will invite their family and friends, and get them to witness their testimonies.

So, maybe you purchase a portable baptistry.  But… those things are expensive!

A few years ago, I decided to make one of our own.  Watch the video to see how we did it.

And here’s a video of our baptistry in use in a recent baptism service:

A Word from Our Sponsor:

SermonSubscribe - Providing Quality Preaching Through Video for churches who have lost their pastor

This video series is brought to you by SermonSubscribe, providing quality preaching by video.

Are you burned out as a pastor? Need someone to help lift the preaching load for a time? Do you need a sabbatical, but not sure how you will fill the pulpit?

Are you on a pastoral search committee, but you’re struggling to find a good candidate, and make sure someone is able to preach every weekend? Did your pastor retire, and you’re looking for a new one… but you have to bridge the gap until you can hire a new pastor?

You need to check out SermonSubscribe (www.sermonsubscribe.com). Each week, I preach live in Oklahoma City, edit the High-definition video, and send it to churches across the United States. By the middle of the week, those churches have a quality Biblical sermon to download, handouts to print out & copy… and all of this for far less than it costs to bring in a special speaker or interim pastor.

Have questions?  For pricing, or common questions, please visit www.sermonsubscribe.com.

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One Huge Key to a Pastor’s Emotional Survival

Being a pastor of a church can be emotionally exhausting.  At times, it really does feel like riding an emotional roller coaster.

small church pastoral emotional frustration and health burnout

In a single week, you can cover.

  • rejoicing with a new convert who is growing in their faith
  • hurting with a young couple who lost a baby
  • conflict with a board member
  • preaching and feeling like you really connected
  • learning that your illustration really offended someone
  • guilt about how much family time you’re spending
  • excitement about a new tither
  • frustration with your building

Nah, never mind.  That can all happen in ONE DAY.

There’s a lot to be said about the topic of how to handle the emotional ups and downs of pastoring… and I can’t cover it all in one video.  But here’s one key that I think is crucial:  Your ability to handle, embrace and even rejoice in chaos.

For more, here’s today’s 5 Minute Mentoring Video:

A Word from Our Sponsor:

SermonSubscribe - Providing Quality Preaching Through Video for churches who have lost their pastor

This video series is brought to you by SermonSubscribe, providing quality preaching by video.

Are you burned out as a pastor? Need someone to help lift the preaching load for a time? Do you need a sabbatical, but not sure how you will fill the pulpit?

Are you on a pastoral search committee, but you’re struggling to find a good candidate, and make sure someone is able to preach every weekend? Did your pastor retire, and you’re looking for a new one… but you have to bridge the gap until you can hire a new pastor?

You need to check out SermonSubscribe (www.sermonsubscribe.com). Each week, I preach live in Oklahoma City, edit the High-definition video, and send it to churches across the United States. By the middle of the week, those churches have a quality Biblical sermon to download, handouts to print out & copy… and all of this for far less than it costs to bring in a special speaker or interim pastor.

Have questions?  For pricing, or common questions, please visit www.sermonsubscribe.com.