How to Rewrite the Script and Take Back Control

Have you ever delayed tasks, not because you’re lazy or unsure, but because deep down, you’re resisting someone else’s expectations? If so, you may be dealing with control procrastination—a subtle but powerful way we push back against pressure and reclaim a sense of autonomy.

What Is Control Procrastination?

Control procrastination happens when you postpone tasks as a way of asserting control over your time and decisions. It’s often rooted in past experiences where boundaries were ignored or where external expectations felt overwhelming.

For example:

• Missing deadlines because they feel imposed rather than chosen.
• Avoiding responsibilities because they remind you of situations where you felt powerless.

I’ve watched people be late to mess with their families, push back against their spouse, poke their boss in the eye, and more. This type of procrastination can feel empowering at first—you’re taking a stand! But over time, it can create new unhealthy patterns. Others begin to expect less from you, and (this is the worst part!) you start expecting less from yourself.

Why Control Procrastination Happens

Control procrastination is often a response to:

• Unmet needs for autonomy – Feeling forced into actions can trigger resistance.
• Emotional wounds – Past experiences of being micromanaged or ignored can lead to a need to push back.
• Fear of failure – Resisting tasks that you’re unsure you can do well.

How to Overcome Control Procrastination

1. Harness Your Rebellious Energy

If you’re already rebelling against low expectations or external pressure, why not flip that energy? Instead of using it to delay, use it to exceed expectations and surprise those around you. You’re going to need to get that “I’ll show them!” to work for you.

Here’s how:

• Identify a specific person who expects you to be late or unprepared.
• Visualize their surprise when you exceed expectations.
• Write down a specific plan to crush the task ahead of schedule and deliver exceptional results.

2. Act “As If”

Control procrastination often ties to identity—you see yourself as someone who resists. But what if you chose a new identity?

• Name your new identity. For example, “I am someone who meets deadlines early.”
• Ask how that person would act. What steps would this version of you take?
• Act as if you’re already that person. This small shift in mindset can rewire how you approach tasks.

3. Set Your Own Deadlines

External deadlines can feel like an attack on your autonomy. Reclaim control by setting your own, earlier deadlines.

• Reframe the deadline as a target you chose for yourself.
• Create a buffer. For example, if the project is due Friday, commit to finishing by Wednesday.
• Reward yourself for meeting your self-imposed timeline.

4. Address the Deeper Issue

Control procrastination is often rooted in emotional wounds or unmet needs. Consider exploring:

• Past experiences where you felt powerless or ignored.
• What you truly want. Is there a way to align the task with your personal values?
• Professional help. A counselor or coach can help you process underlying issues and build healthier patterns.

Rewriting Your Script

You are the director of your own story. While control procrastination might feel like a way to take charge, it often leads to frustration and missed opportunities. Instead, choose to rewrite the script:

• Decide that your new identity is one of action, reliability, and autonomy.
• Take small, consistent steps to prove to yourself that you’re capable of change.

What’s Your First Step?

Think about a task you’ve been delaying because of control procrastination. How can you reframe it, set your own terms, and take action?

Action Step: Share in the comments or with a friend: What’s one task you’ve been resisting, and how can you reframe it to take back control today?

All the Types of Procrastination:

In this series on different types of procrastination, here are 6 types we’ll explore:

1. Fearful Procrastination – Driven by fear of failure, success, or others’ opinions.
2. Uncertain Procrastination – Caused by lack of clarity about what to do next.
3. Perfectionism Procrastination – Delaying because you feel you can’t do it perfectly.
4. Wisdom Procrastination – Resistance to tasks that don’t align with your skills or passions.
5. Control Procrastination – Putting off tasks as a form of rebellion against external expectations.
6. Lazy Procrastination – When you just don’t want to do the work.