I recently made a leadership decision that was fraught with some amount of peril.

Most good leadership decisions are. If you’re not risking, you’re probably not leading as aggressively as you should.

I was contacted by someone who expressed genuine concern about the decision I had made. I was so impressed by them and their attitude, I decided to share it with you.

Here’s what they did right:

1. They contacted me privately.

They did not confront me publicly, setting up a situation where I felt I had to prove my point or lose face.  They did not rant on Facebook.

2. They communicated their appreciation for my leadership.

Honest appreciation is the oil that greases the gears of life and relationships, my friends. Use more of it.

3. They assumed they might not have all the information I had.

Usually, people assume that the leader doesn’t have all the information they have… and the decision was a bad one.  (And that could be the case!)  But it is safer and far more gracious to assume that the leader has information they don’t have.

This one little tweak raises you near a Level Ninja Conflict Manager.

If you don’t have this perspective, you won’t be able to listen… you’ll come in fighting to be heard, not to listen.

4. They communicated their concern about the situation.

I never mind when someone communicates their concern. As C.S. Lewis says in the Chronicles of Narnia, “If there is a wasp in the room, I should like to know where it is.” I’d rather know ahead of time if someone has concerns.

If you’re a leader who can’t handle that, then find something else to do – don’t pastor a church. But they sure made it easier to handle!

5. They recognized my authority in the situation.

I’m not really that guy that needs the props, or just needs someone to notice I’m in charge. But admit it: when your kids are respectful of your authority in your family, it takes the temperature down in the discussion. Same way here.

6. They affirmed their willingness to trust & follow my leadership, even if I didn’t agree with them.

This was huge. I almost felt like crying. As a leader in several organizations, I was overwhelmed that day, and carrying another person’s frustrations was not what I needed.

In a leader with a good heart, trusting them even when you disagree doesn’t make them more likely to be an idiot – it makes them more SERIOUS about their leadership!

What happened INSIDE me at that moment was fascinating.

1. I was MORE willing to hear their perspective.
2. I was MORE challenged to lead carefully.
3. I was MORE energized to lead well.
4. I was MORE thankful to have them around.
5. I was MORE likely to seek out their counsel next time.
6. I was MORE impressed with their readiness to lead on a higher level.

I think this list what happens in all leaders who have a sincere and good heart for the people they lead and love.

What happens inside YOU when someone does this?  Let me know below, or if you’re on social media, join in the conversation on my Twitter or Facebook!

The church where I pastor in Oklahoma City is hiring a new pastoral position.

Our church has been growing:

• We’re running 100, with a 9 week unique worshippers number of 175.
• Our Food Pantry continues to grow, with 22,000 served in the last 12 months.
• We are working on building a new fellowship and food pantry space.
• We’re working on breaking through the 200 barrier.
• We’re investigating moving to multiple worship services.
• We are planning to help plant new churches over the next 4 years.

We feel like this is a strategic moment for us to hire new talent, to help us break through to the next level.

Our Mission

Our mission is to help people in Oklahoma City, “Love God, Love Others, Serve the World.”

Here’s the way we try to make that mission statement real:

• We budget toward it (we have a “Love God” budget area, a “Love Others” budget section, etc.)
• We program toward it (we have programs that are designed to encourage “Love God”, etc.)
• I preach toward it (each message series is designed to move one of those forward)
• AND NOW: We are staffing toward it (A Love God Pastor, a Love Others Pastor and a Serve the World pastor)

Currently, we’re seeking to add a staff position in either the “Love God” area or the “Serve the World” area.

We’re looking for a self-motivated, gifted person who:

• has a servant’s heart
• is ready to grow and stretch in their leadership skills
• feels a passion for Jesus and His Kingdom and
• loves cities and the people who live there
• is passionate about helping people grow in one of the areas of our mission

Below you’ll find a video that gives a detailed explanation of our mission and vision for the church staff.  Please take the time to watch it if you’re interested in this ministry opportunity!

If you’re interested in more details, job descriptions, etc., please feel free to contact me via email at darrellstetler2@gmail.com, and get me your contact info and resume.

Staff Video – Dream Team Vision from Darrell Stetler II on Vimeo.

Baptism is a beautiful moment as new Christians celebrate their transformation & new life in Christ… but what happens if you’re a small church without a built-in baptistry?

Sure, you could use a creek.  But what if you live in Oklahoma City and you don’t have a creek?

You could go out of town and do a lake — but then you sacrifice some of the chance that your new Christians will invite their family and friends, and get them to witness their testimonies.

So, maybe you purchase a portable baptistry.  But… those things are expensive!

A few years ago, I decided to make one of our own.  Watch the video to see how we did it.

And here’s a video of our baptistry in use in a recent baptism service:

A Word from Our Sponsor:

This video series is brought to you by SermonSubscribe, providing quality preaching by video.

Are you burned out as a pastor? Need someone to help lift the preaching load for a time? Do you need a sabbatical, but not sure how you will fill the pulpit?

Are you on a pastoral search committee, but you’re struggling to find a good candidate, and make sure someone is able to preach every weekend? Did your pastor retire, and you’re looking for a new one… but you have to bridge the gap until you can hire a new pastor?

You need to check out SermonSubscribe (www.sermonsubscribe.com). Each week, I preach live in Oklahoma City, edit the High-definition video, and send it to churches across the United States. By the middle of the week, those churches have a quality Biblical sermon to download, handouts to print out & copy… and all of this for far less than it costs to bring in a special speaker or interim pastor.

Have questions?  For pricing, or common questions, please visit www.sermonsubscribe.com.

Ray Stevens, the great musical comedian, once wrote a song called “Sunday Mornings.”

Chaos, mayhem, panic and disorder
Even worse when we were cursed with not enough hot water
We broke most of the Commandments and a host of the heavenly warnings
Trying to get the family to church on Sunday morning

If you smiled at that, it’s probably because you can identify.  We’ve all been there.

But honestly, is that the mindset you want heading into worship?  Do you think that frustration or discouragement or stress shows up in how you lead a service?  How you preach?  How you handle those E.G.R. (Extra Grace Required) people?

You bet it does.

Since my wife and I were blessed with our 7th child (6th boy) a few weeks ago, I’m feeling the need to take my Sunday morning routine to a new level to lower the stress level.  For me, step #1 is re-instating a ministry in our church that fell off the wagon sometime back when a volunteer experienced some physical problems and had to step down.

So it’s appropriate that today’s 5 Minute Mentoring Video be a piece on how to lower your stress on Sunday mornings, when the “performance pressure” is on.

Here’s the details on the system that I’m tweaking and re-installing:

I am OK with some kinds of stress.  Performance stress is good for you, since it raises your awareness and sends adrenaline coursing through your body…

But I hate most kinds of stress.  It lowers joy, saps energy & creativity, and is a continual “white noise” in the brain when you need to think clearly.  I don’t think it’s possible to eliminate all stresses from your life.  But I don’t want to deal with one bit more than I have to.

The biggest single secret for reducing stress I’ve found (outside of prayer & faith) is SYSTEMS.

Here’s your 5 Minute Mentoring Today:

A Word from Our Sponsor:

This video series is brought to you by SermonSubscribe, providing quality preaching by video.

Are you burned out as a pastor? Need someone to help lift the preaching load for a time? Do you need a sabbatical, but not sure how you will fill the pulpit?

Are you on a pastoral search committee, but you’re struggling to find a good candidate, and make sure someone is able to preach every weekend? Did your pastor retire, and you’re looking for a new one… but you have to bridge the gap until you can hire a new pastor?

You need to check out SermonSubscribe (www.sermonsubscribe.com). Each week, I preach live in Oklahoma City, edit the High-definition video, and send it to churches across the United States. By the middle of the week, those churches have a quality Biblical sermon to download, handouts to print out & copy… and all of this for far less than it costs to bring in a special speaker or interim pastor.

Have questions?  For pricing, or common questions, please visit www.sermonsubscribe.com.

Everyone knows that change is “make or break” for leadership.

The test of leadership isn’t how many people voted for you, or how many will cry at your funeral… it’s whether or not you can lead people to change.

John Maxwell says,

But which changes?  Too often, as leaders, since we “own” the change (i.e. we came up with the idea), we fail to understand the emotional cost of change for those who follow us.

Today’s 5 Minute Mentoring Video helps clarify how choosing changes wisely can boost your trust — or break it.

What do you think?  Share this quote below if you agree: