Every pastor loves it when brand new people repent of sin, and trust in Christ for salvation! But in a busy world, there are lots of challenges to making sure that new life in Christ is nurtured and maintained until the new Christian is fully mature.

I recently asked my email list if they had any particular suggestions and frustrations in this area of getting new Christians established in their walk with God.

Here’s what they said: (click the graphic to read their emails…)

#1: “Honestly, I don’t have a good plan in place. I’m winging it every time.“

There’s nothing wrong with seeking the direction of the Spirit, and knowing what a specific new convert needs! It’s the privilege of the sons of God to be led by the Spirit of God!

But a while back, I realized that I was spending a lot of mental energy INVENTING! I was creating something new every time, instead of working off a framework that could help me give expected, good guidance to someone just starting off.

Every one is different — but there are at least SOME universal principles that ALL new Christians need. How can I build those into a system?

Here’s what another pastor said:

If you’ve read this blog for very long, you know I’m a huge fan of systems, which I define as “expected ways of doing critical work.”

I just hadn’t really applied systems thinking to discipleship in our church!

#2: “Some tools are too hard/too overwhelming for my audience.“

This pastor friend referenced Shepherd’s Global Classrom, which is great… one of the most exciting discipleship and education tools in years. (You really should check it out!)

But he’s correct — some tools are basically, “Welcome to the Family of God! Here, have this large textbook.”

My audience is full of people who are not really readers, and they get overwhelmed easily if you can’t give them something they can chew — something BITE-SIZED for them.

#3: “There are some good discipleship resources out there, but it’s hard work to get it workable for MY CHURCH.”

One pastor had some great content he shared! I was thankful to review it — it was over 400 pages!! — but it was obvious that he and others had done a ton of work on it, to make it more workable for their particular theological framework.

That’s one of the challenges… finding tools that you agree with their theological framework, or their approach, etc. I’ve run into that many times. “Ooh, this is a great tool… really, you had to go there?”

#4: “I’m so busy doing the work, I don’t have time to build a good discipleship system.“

I know exactly what this pastor means when he says, “I’ve given more effort to the work than to improving my processes.”

People work is messy and busy. We can get so busy working IN our church that we have no time to work ON our church.

#5: “I’m the only one doing any discipling, and there’s no clear plan to empower others to help.”

Man, I really feel this. To be able to give discipling away, it takes either:

a) a really skilled helper — who is a strong Christian with great leadership abilities

OR

b) a really clear system that can empower your more mature Christians to help — even if they feel unqualified.

So I’ve been working on it…

Those are some of the things that pastors shared with me about their frustrations with discipling.

I’ve been working on a solution to help, a system that I think

• I can empower someone else to use, even if they don’t feel qualified
• keeps everything bite-sized to prevent overwhelm
• focuses on habit development, not just information
• gives an extrememly clear pathway for the first few weeks of following Jesus
• prevents some common problems such as getting bogged down in Bible reading
• Is a great on-ramp to a longer-term discipleship strategy

If you’re interested, stay tuned. I’ll be writing about it in the next few days.

For a free sample of this tool for discipling new Christians, navigate over to NewStart Discipleship. Next time, I’ll share a copy of the New Start Discipleship Journal that you can download and evaluate.

In the meantime, reply or comment and let me know your frustrations with discipleship if I didn’t cover them! 🙂

One good thing God can bring out of the COVID-19 situation, is to help the white church understand the anger of people of color. I know that many white people are struggling to understand the level of anger that would bring African American people to riot, burn, and loot.

If you have a hard time understanding, give me 5 minutes, and let me try to put it in a way you can understand.

Imagine…

Imagine governors & local officials going beyond their mandate, and imposing extra burdens on freedoms you thought you were guaranteed in the Constitution.
Imagine local law enforcement tackling people for something like not wearing a mask. Imagine no real recourse available.
Imagine that police were far more likely to do this to evangelical Christians who looked like you.
Imagine someone you knew had been jailed for it. Imagine they were killed in custody.
Then imagine that nothing was done; the people responsible were never brought to justice.

And imagine that it happened again… and again. In other places, other states, other communities.
Imagine that the public stories — the ones that got out — were reacted to with flippant excuses like, “Hey, if you don’t want to get arrested, wear the mask” by a percentage of the population.

Imagine that the public stories that managed to get out were dwarfed by the sheer volume of stories that were only known because they were whispered around kitchen tables.
Imagine that DAs didn’t press charges.
Imagine that the badges gave protection to bad actors.
Imagine that this didn’t go on for 2 months of lockdown, but for decades… your entire lifetime… and for centuries.

How would you feel?

*THAT’S how people of color feel.*

Some of you have been protesting masks and closures peacefully (thus far). But we’re only 2 months in. What if it lasted years? What then?

I’ve seen your tweets & posts, Christians.

And I sympathize, and even agree with the overreaction you’re wrestling with. I sympathize with the weaponization of bureaucracy, the empowerment of small minded people to remove freedoms you treasure, and options you should have. But…

You have faced nothing — NOTHING — like those who have dealt with prejudice over the decades. And yet, after 2 months, you’re chafing under these restrictions. I would encourage you to meditate on this and let the Holy Spirit soak this truth down into your heart:

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” – MLK Jr.

Think on this:

If you were speaking with a pro-shutdown person who disagreed with you politically, and you wanted to tell them how they could understand your perspective & that of others like you, what would you tell them?

Here are 3 things I think you’d tell them:

1. LISTEN.

Go listen to those who have hurt because of the shutdown. Listen, don’t lecture or talk down. Hear their pain and don’t deny it to them. Wait – a long time – before suggesting reasons for their problem.

2. FEEL.

Put yourself and your family in their shoes. Imagine the pain of uncertainty about your children’s future. Imagine what you would do if you felt your children would never be able to return to what you’ve experienced as “normal” America… imagine what you’d feel & fear if lockdown was forever.

3. LOVE:

Let love motivate speaking and action. Be willing to call injustice what it is, and work for structural solutions to structural problems & spiritual solutions to spiritual problems. Let love inform your water cooler talk, the way you discuss, write posts, & vote.

So let’s do those things with our African American brothers & sisters… the things you would wish that people in power & people agitating for extended shutdowns… …would do for you.

Seems like what Jesus would encourage you to do.

I recently made a leadership decision that was fraught with some amount of peril.

Most good leadership decisions are. If you’re not risking, you’re probably not leading as aggressively as you should.

I was contacted by someone who expressed genuine concern about the decision I had made. I was so impressed by them and their attitude, I decided to share it with you.

Here’s what they did right:

1. They contacted me privately.

They did not confront me publicly, setting up a situation where I felt I had to prove my point or lose face.  They did not rant on Facebook.

2. They communicated their appreciation for my leadership.

Honest appreciation is the oil that greases the gears of life and relationships, my friends. Use more of it.

3. They assumed they might not have all the information I had.

Usually, people assume that the leader doesn’t have all the information they have… and the decision was a bad one.  (And that could be the case!)  But it is safer and far more gracious to assume that the leader has information they don’t have.

This one little tweak raises you near a Level Ninja Conflict Manager.

If you don’t have this perspective, you won’t be able to listen… you’ll come in fighting to be heard, not to listen.

4. They communicated their concern about the situation.

I never mind when someone communicates their concern. As C.S. Lewis says in the Chronicles of Narnia, “If there is a wasp in the room, I should like to know where it is.” I’d rather know ahead of time if someone has concerns.

If you’re a leader who can’t handle that, then find something else to do – don’t pastor a church. But they sure made it easier to handle!

5. They recognized my authority in the situation.

I’m not really that guy that needs the props, or just needs someone to notice I’m in charge. But admit it: when your kids are respectful of your authority in your family, it takes the temperature down in the discussion. Same way here.

6. They affirmed their willingness to trust & follow my leadership, even if I didn’t agree with them.

This was huge. I almost felt like crying. As a leader in several organizations, I was overwhelmed that day, and carrying another person’s frustrations was not what I needed.

In a leader with a good heart, trusting them even when you disagree doesn’t make them more likely to be an idiot – it makes them more SERIOUS about their leadership!

What happened INSIDE me at that moment was fascinating.

1. I was MORE willing to hear their perspective.
2. I was MORE challenged to lead carefully.
3. I was MORE energized to lead well.
4. I was MORE thankful to have them around.
5. I was MORE likely to seek out their counsel next time.
6. I was MORE impressed with their readiness to lead on a higher level.

I think this list what happens in all leaders who have a sincere and good heart for the people they lead and love.

What happens inside YOU when someone does this?  Let me know below, or if you’re on social media, join in the conversation on my Twitter or Facebook!

The church where I pastor in Oklahoma City is hiring a new pastoral position.

Our church has been growing:

• We’re running 100, with a 9 week unique worshippers number of 175.
• Our Food Pantry continues to grow, with 22,000 served in the last 12 months.
• We are working on building a new fellowship and food pantry space.
• We’re working on breaking through the 200 barrier.
• We’re investigating moving to multiple worship services.
• We are planning to help plant new churches over the next 4 years.

We feel like this is a strategic moment for us to hire new talent, to help us break through to the next level.

Our Mission

Our mission is to help people in Oklahoma City, “Love God, Love Others, Serve the World.”

Here’s the way we try to make that mission statement real:

• We budget toward it (we have a “Love God” budget area, a “Love Others” budget section, etc.)
• We program toward it (we have programs that are designed to encourage “Love God”, etc.)
• I preach toward it (each message series is designed to move one of those forward)
• AND NOW: We are staffing toward it (A Love God Pastor, a Love Others Pastor and a Serve the World pastor)

Currently, we’re seeking to add a staff position in either the “Love God” area or the “Serve the World” area.

We’re looking for a self-motivated, gifted person who:

• has a servant’s heart
• is ready to grow and stretch in their leadership skills
• feels a passion for Jesus and His Kingdom and
• loves cities and the people who live there
• is passionate about helping people grow in one of the areas of our mission

Below you’ll find a video that gives a detailed explanation of our mission and vision for the church staff.  Please take the time to watch it if you’re interested in this ministry opportunity!

If you’re interested in more details, job descriptions, etc., please feel free to contact me via email at darrellstetler2@gmail.com, and get me your contact info and resume.

Staff Video – Dream Team Vision from Darrell Stetler II on Vimeo.