Category Archives: Tools

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How to Handle the First 50 Days of Discipleship

Darrell Stetler II talks about how to build holy habits into the lives of new Christians by creating tools like the NewStart Discipleship journal. For more info, or to download a free evaluation copy of the journal, visit www.newstartdiscipleship.com
The First 50 Days of Discipleship for New Christians short seminar

I was recently asked to share at Outreach and Bus Convention about how to create tools to help new Christians get established in their faith, and form discipleship routines.

I shared a session about how even small church pastors can do a better job discipling new converts in those crucial first 50 days.

Here’s the video:

If you’d like to download a handout and use this for training in your local church to create vision for making disciples, you’re welcome to do that. CLICK HERE to download the handout instantly.

In a recent Barna Survey:

Only 1% Of Pastors say that churches these days are doing “very well” with discipling new believers.

Only 8% Of Pastors say that their church is doing “very well” with discipling new believers.

Wow. Clearly, almost everyone recognizes that we’ve got work to do to level up our game for new believers!

3 Questions You Must Ask About Your Discipleship

#1: What am I trying to produce?

Baby Christians who know the disciples names? Or new Christians who have holy habits that will continue to transform them?

Discipleship is the process of becoming who Jesus would be if he was you.

Dallas Willard

So here’s what I decided I want to produce in my new believers here in my local small church. I want to go from information to transformation by producing:

  • Actions & habits in their lives.
  • Emotions.
  • Prayer & Bible as a conversation with God.
  • Self feeders

#2: Is the entrance & pathway absolutely crystal clear?

#1 rule of marketing: A confused mind always says NO. Unclear direction stops people from moving forward.

#3: Can it be multiplied?

You’ve got to set your discipleship plan free from the need for a Bible or communications degree.

Multiplication is going to require 2 things:

Clarity & Simplicity

WHAT IF YOU COULD BUILD A SYSTEM THAT WOULD SOLVE THOSE PROBLEMS?

#1: a system that was more about habits of transformation for new Christians than information?

#2: a system that was absolutely crystal clear to new believers for that critical first couple of months?

#3: a system that was EASY to give away & multiply so that anyone in your church could become a disciple-maker?

Creating a NewStart for new believers means discipling them on how to become self-feeders, how to develop holy habits that will continue to transform them.
Creating a NewStart for new believers in Jesus


5 Secrets to move from information to transformation:

Secret #1: Do your thinking in advance.

What habits do I want them to develop right up front? How am I going to create those habits in a way that is perfectly clear for new converts? How can I

Secret #2: Focus on mini habits, not factoids.

If you can establish habits for your new Christians that are tiny, but are anchors for future growth, you’ll be ahead instead of teaching them Bible fact content.

Secret #3: Start with Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

The NewStart Discipleship System, for instance, starts with a 50 day Bible reading plan that covers the highlights of the Bible, so they grasp the broad strategy of the story God is telling. (If you’d like a free evaluation copy of the NewStart Discipleship Journal emailed to you, just click here to get it instantly via email.)

Secret #4: Harness rhythms & tools that already exist.

You’re only going to get so far fighting the way people consume information in the modern age. Your plan should integrate with technology like smartphones or devices, to help new Christians find the tools they need to grow in discipleship.

Secret #5: Integrate connection with your plan. How are you going to remind & facilitate connection with your new Christians so they are matched with disciple-makers in your local congregation?

What next?

If you want a solid, turn-key system to help you create new disciples that are forming new habits that will grow their new life in Christ, you should consider subscribing to NewStart Discipleship Premium.

This valuable set of tools features the NewStart Discipleship Journal, The NewStart Discipleship website, and a series of bite-sized, tech-integrated spiritual growth tools for new Christians.

NewStart Discipleship premium subscription gives your small church unlimited access to www.newstartdiscipleship.com and unlimited printing license for the

Not only does NewStart Discipleship Premium include an unlimited printing license for the new believer journals and Bible reading plan, the set of tools also continues to grow. I’ll be sharing more in a few weeks, but coming soon, the NewStart Discipleship set of tools will add:

Defending Your Faith

This 10-session video class will equip new believers to understand the firm foundation on which their Christian faith rests. It features content developed for Shepherd’s Global Classroom by Dr. Mark Bird, and a downloadable workbook.

Pursuing Holiness – A 40 Day Journey

www.40daysofholiness.com is a site that teaches on God's holiness, and how he creates it in humans. Taught by Darrell Stetler II, this 40 day discipleship journey for growing Christians will take you deep into the heart of God, seeing the beauty of His holiness, and learning to long for it in your own life. We’ll give holiness definition and clarity, talk about what holiness is and what holiness isn’t, and teach you how to become holy, and grow in holiness. Holiness is not a Pentecostal concern, or one for the Holiness Movement, the Methodist CHurch or Wesleyan/Arminian followers of John Wesley. It isn’t just for holiness churches! It is for all serious Christians, all students of God's Word, regardless of denomination or background.

Pursuing Holiness is a 40 day campaign that teaches about God’s holiness, and how he re-creates it in humans. This 40 day discipleship journey for growing Christians will take you deep into the heart of God, seeing the beauty of His holiness, and learning to long for it in your own life.

We’ll give holiness definition and clarity, talk about the definition of holiness, and what holiness isn’t, and teach you how to become holy, and grow in holiness. 

Holiness is not a Pentecostal concern, or one for the Holiness Movement, the Methodist Church or Wesleyan/Arminian followers of John Wesley’s theology. It isn’t just for “holiness” churches! It is for all serious Christians, all students of God’s Word, regardless of denomination or background. 

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Texting Is Better Than Phone or Email for Churches

I remember when I first sent a text message on my flip phone. Things have changed a lot since then. People are more connected to their phones than ever.  In those days, I rarely texted, and almost always called.

Lots of people under 30 don’t really check voicemail at all.  I rarely listen to a voicemail.  I have Google voice transcribe them and sent to me — as texts!

Sure, there are some things you shouldn’t do with a text. Ask for a date. Break up. Deal with conflict. Have a deep conversation. But if you’re just needing to quickly communicate in an extremely connected culture, texting sure does help.

There are lots of ways to use texting in your church communications.  Texting is a great way to:

  • Send quick encouragement to someone.
  • Remind people of events & appointments
  • Do a quick check on a fact
  • Get information such as a phone number without breaking workflow
  • Request an “at your convenience” reply on a question
  • Send information such as links and phone numbers so the recipient has a record of them
  • Drive quick traffic to a link, such as event registration or church video

 

Here are 5 reasons why I think texting is better than email or phone for church communications:

1. More people respond your message.

Not everyone is into texting.  But if you’re working with younger people, in my experience, you are more likely to get an answer from a text than a voicemail or email.

There are exceptions to this.  Boomers & office professionals still use email quite a bit.  But even that is changing, as communication becomes more informal, even in the workplace.

2. People see it more quickly.

I like to use email for longer-form things, but when you need to communicate something quickly (a cancellation, a schedule change, an urgent message) texting is almost always faster.

Lots of people have their phones set NOT to notify them when an email comes in, but very few people have their phones set that way for texts.

3. Texting is more personal than email.

Now, texting is probably less personal than a phone call, but the texting space isn’t as crowded as the email space… and while several dozen companies have your email, it’s mostly people (persons) that text you.  That’s why I’d argue it’s more personal.

4. Texting is more focused than email.

Often, emails can communicate too much and have too many possible responses, which tends to immobilize people, and lead to no response.  Texting is so short, that you can usually only take 1 action in response to a text, so people are more likely to actually act on it.

 

So how do we harness texting to do this kind of communcation in our churches?

 

Here are my favorite tools for churches to use for texting folks:

1. MightyText

Now, how to do it more quickly… that’s the problem. And my favorite solution is MightyText.  MightyText lets me text from my phone using my computer, which is far faster.

Here’s what it allows me to do:

  • See who’s texting without breaking my workflow. Texts pop up down in the corner, letting me decide if it’s important enough to stop for.
  • See who’s calling without breaking my workflow. Again, notifications pop up in the corner.
  • Reply without picking up my phone. A quick click and I’m replying.
  • Text multiple people at the speed of my computer, not my phone. I type way faster on a keyboard.
  • Easily Schedule texts to send in the future.

MightyText is quite valuable — and free to use. I used it for months with the free app. But on this one, it’s worth going to the paid version for the features that are included. The ability to create Contact Lists is particularly valuable. It lets me text groups of people with a single click.

I have admin assistant add mobile numbers to a list like “Trunk or Treat” and I can text 25 of those folks at a time from my own phone, and start a conversation, like “Thanks for attending our Trunk or Treat! This is Pastor Darrell, & this is my personal cell phone. Did you feel like your kids enjoyed it?”  (I like ending that kind of a text with a question, because they’re more likely to respond!)

One caution: If you use MightyText on a church computer, and someone else uses that computer, they can read your texts.  Obviously, this could cause issues with sensitive information.  So, be cautious here if you have sensitive info — log out, etc.

But obviously, you can’t use your personal phone for all church annoucements, which is why I like:

2. Textedly.com

Textedly is a great texting service that allows people to sign up to receive texts through keywords.  Such as this slide, which we use in our offering-time slideshow:

I’ve used Textedly in these ways:

  • Send out church cancellations or schedule changes
  • Quick Sunday reminders about church dinners
  • Saturday encouragement to “bring a friend”
  • Church-wide fasting and prayer campaign – Scripture verses

If you’d like to sign up and give them a try, you can CLICK HERE, and you will get a bonus 5,000 messages when you sign up for a plan. 

So what do you think?  Is texting better?  How do you use it?

 

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5 Ways Small Church Pastors Can Beat Forgetfulness

You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach when your phone rings, you see the name on caller ID and you groan — because you realize you forgot something?  I hate that feeling.  I hate letting people down, when I’ve agreed to do something.
  • It’s embarrassing.
  • It’s stressful.
  • It costs you relationships, respect and trust, especially as a pastor.

“As vinegar to the teeth and smoke to the eyes, so is a lazy man to the one who sends him.”  (Proverbs 10:26)

How to help deal with forgetfulness for forgetful small church pastors.
If you are like me, your “forgetter” works overtime.  I can remember random facts and poems I memorized when I was 9, but I can’t remember what I told someone a week ago.  And that creates a lot of day-to-day stress.  It will either keep you mentally torn trying to keep everything straight, or kicking yourself that you didn’t!  And the more projects and roles you’re juggling, the harder it is to get it all right and on time.

I imagine this is pretty easy for people who are obsessive compulsive naturally organized, and never seem to forget anything. But I’m not naturally organized.  I’ve had to design systems to work around my weaknesses.

Here’s what I’m learning:

 1. Write it down.

You should keep a to-do list.  Writing is a neurokinetic activity that aids in memory.  David Allen’s “Getting Things Done” book has become a gold standard for time management (or as he would prefer to say, “action management.”)  The benefits here are many:
  • Less stress.
  • More producivity.
  • Less forgetfulness.
The shortest pencil is better than the longest memory. – Unknown
That’s true, but you have to write it down in a place where you know you’ll check, and on something you won’t lose.
Personally, I don’t write it down in a Moleskin or legal pad, because I lose the pad.  🙂  But because I use a phone belt clip, I almost never lose my phone… so I write everything down there in Todoist, my current favorite to-do list app.  Other places where I capture things include:

 

2. Create a system.

Ever forget details of a complicated activity?  You need a system.  The simplest system is really just a checklist, and any materials that go along with it.

Atul Gawande wrote “The Checklist Manifesto,” claiming that “The volume and complexity of what we know has exceeded our individual ability to deliver its benefits correctly, safely, or reliably. Knowledge has both saved us and burdened us.”

He’s right.

If you’re older, and it feels like life is more complicated now, that’s probably because… it is!

A lot of people (particularly forgetful ones!) balk at the idea of having a checklist for simple things.  “I’ve got it all in my head,” one guy told me.  To which I replied, “Yes, which is why there’s no room for anything else up there!”  If you think this checklist thing is baloney, consider this:
  • in 2001, a 5-point checklist virtually eradicated central line infections in the ICU at Johns Hopkins Hospital, preventing an estimated 43 infections & eight deaths over 27 months
  • The same system at hospitals in Michigan decreased infections by 66% in 3 months, and over the next 18 months, saved 1,500 lives.
One of my favorite blogs, Art of Manliness, did a very lengthy post about the power of checklists, which you should read if you have any doubt that they are important.

3. Automate whatever you can.

I’ll bet you have some things in your life that you forget to do on a regular basis.  Little, nagging, recurring tasks that will slip by unnoticed — until they are costing you dollars & time & embarrassment.  I’ll also bet that there are ways to get some of them done automatically, if you’ll invest the time to automate them.
I’ll do another post on automating things in your life later, but for now, my favorite automating tools are:
> A good smart phone
> Banking tools
> Auto bill pay
I hate filling my short-term memory with things I could just “set and forget.”  Do it.  Automate enough good behaviors, and they will pay you back eventually.

4. Set reminders.

OK, let’s imagine you have something, an object that MUST go to work with you tomorrow.  It is imperative.  Let’s imagine you will lose your job, or someone will die if you do not remember that object, but it’s too valuable to keep in your car.
Where do you put it?
Most people I’ve asked this question have said some version of, “By the front door.”  That’s right.  So you have to find ways to put things “by the front door” in your life… in a place where you know you will HAVE to encounter it again.
But really, some things you can’t put by the front door, and you can’t realistically cover your front door with Post-It notes…  So you have to have some way to make sure you “trip over” that thing again.  Ideally, this would look like a list or notebook that you check reliably, so you can stop keeping it in your over-taxed short-term memory.
For me, the place I’m most likely to trip over things is on my smart phone.  So I put things “by the front door” using my Google Calendar, my alarms, location-based reminders, etc.

5. Harness the power of accountability.

You’re more likely to accomplish something if you tell someone you are going to do it, if you really make a commitment out of that.  In fact, some studies on goals indicate that you are 95% more likely to get it done if you’ve become personally accountable to someone for that action or goal.

Use this to your advantage.  Tell someone, or maybe multiple people, what you intend to do.  Verbalize it, text it to them…

And then, (my personal favorite thing) make that a trigger.  Tell them, pull out your trusty phone or calendar, and let it be your cue to write it down.  

 

Really, it all comes down to this: Just don’t refuse to deal with it.

Don’t make “that’s just who I am” a reason to live the rest of your life letting people down and breaking promises.

As I said, I’m naturally forgetful of things like appointments and commitments.  It has required significant work for me to do better.  I’m a long ways from perfect here (ask my wife and my church family!), but with desire and work, and a plan, I’ve improved.

As a pastor of a smaller church, if you want to grow, you’ll need to show your ability to grow past these kinds of things in your life in order for you to be trustworthy with larger things.

When you improve in these kind of character traits, it ultimately speaks well of you and of the One you serve.

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Three Main Marketing Pieces for Small Churches

5 Minute Mentoring

Far too many small churches are content with sloppiness in their marketing promotional material… or even it being non-existent!

5 Minute Mentoring & small church pastor coaching from Darrell Stetler

This can be for several reasons:

    • they don’t know what’s available.
    • they don’t have time or ideas for it.
    • they haven’t thought through an outreach strategy.
    • they don’t have the skills or the money to update it.

I’m not saying you have to have everything perfect, but if reaching new people is important to you, then you need to care enough to talk to them with excellence.

I understand that you don’t have a graphic artist on staff at a smaller church, and that you can’t put a professional design on every event.  But don’t let the fact that you can’t do everything, stop you from doing core things well.

Here are 3 reasons small church pastors should do some work on updating your communication pieces:

  1. Updating your marketing pieces helps remove the “cringe factor” from your congregation inviting.

  2. No one yet ever was saved at a church they never heard of.

  3. If you use the right partners, it doesn’t have to be extremely expensive.

Here’s a quick video that shares what I think are the 3 core marketing & communication pieces that you need:

I have a more specific recommendations on printing & design that I share in my Small Church Pastor Coaching membership site.  If you’re interested in more on this, including where to get the best deals on graphic design and printing, check that out!

 

 

 

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Nextdoor: The New Social Network You Must Check Out

If you’re a pastor of a church, social media can be a frustrating thing. You want to use social media to connect with people who might be looking for a good church, so you create a Facebook page.  You put out the word, and people start “liking” your church page – but they don’t even live in your city, let alone your neighborhood!  But instead, it’s your grandma, your high school best friend, 2 weird people from your email address book, and 3 spam accounts that want you to buy Oakley sunglasses.

If only there was some way to connect naturally with people right in your neighborhood!  Some way to know what what going on in their lives, without stopping by 500 homes every week.

Then, someone created NextDoor.

It’s a social network that is geographically based by your address, not relationally based.  You actually get to know your neighbors, people who live right in your neighborhood.

On Nextdoor, people:

  • Share things they saw in the neighborhood
  • Post events (garage sales, etc.)
  • Warn about theft or vandalism
  • Share news that’s relevant to the community.
  • Post about lost or found pets
  • Ask about good places to Trick or Treat
  • And other things neighbors do…

Here’s why you should check out NextDoor:

1.  Geographic connections.

Facebook is great, but it’s not easy to find people who are geographically connected.  They may be connected by relationships, but it’s not a place where people come to connect with people who live two streets over.  Besides, if you’re like me, you have too many FB friends to even see most things they post!

Nextdoor allows you to talk with people and stay up with what’s going on in your neighborhood, instead of lunch photos from that girl you went to high school with.

nextdoor screenshot

2. Early adopters & relational people.

For right now, those who are on Nextdoor are people who are very open to trying something new.  They aren’t the last guy holding out from joining something new.  As Guy P told me this past week when he visited our church (from Nextdoor), “I knew you were pretty savvy. You’re on Nextdoor, after all!”  They’re also people who are tired of the phenomenon of 1/3 of Americans not knowing their neighbors.  These are people you ought to get to know.

3. Ground floor influence.

I am now a Neighborhood Lead on my Nextdoor network, because I was one of the earliest adopters, and because I invited so many people.  They make it easy to invite geographically, since they (at the time of this writing) pay for you to send postcard invites to 50 people at a time in your neighborhood.  (You never have to touch the postcards, but you can customize the message with your name.)

For me, this was a no-brainer: Get to know my neighbors better, and let someone else pay for it?  Yes, please.

I am planning to use Nextdoor more intentionally in the next few months.  But without any particular plan, we’ve had 2 men start attending church from it in the past few months.

4. Very little noise.

Facebook and Twitter have been noisy for a while.  And they are getting noisier, with all the ads and commercialization.  Nextdoor is like a quieter room – you don’t have to talk with a megaphone to be heard.

In fact, on our Nextdoor, we will sometimes go for a few days with no posts at all.  Which is fine with me.  No one is feeling pressure to fill up the empty space, which makes your message stand out more.

5. No Farmville.

Right now, Nextdoor is simple.  No apps, games, and ads.  Maybe someday they’ll complicate it, but for right now, it’s uncluttered.

6. News about what’s going on in your community.

Oklahoma City is using Nextdoor to put out information about community events that are geographically based.  Law enforcement in OKC is using it to share ideas about safety.

I use it to share graphics about what is coming up at our church, specifically events like Trunk or Treat, or Easter. I’ve used it to invite people to join in on one of our discipleship campaigns by downloading my free discipleship tool.

If you’d like to check to see if Nextdoor is available in your area, or if you can launch a Nextdoor for your neighborhood, CLICK HERE.  (For a limited time, if you recruit enough neighbors to launch a neighborhood Nextdoor network in an area where it is not available, you get a $25 Amazon gift card.)

In the comments, I’d like to hear:

What social networks are you currently involved in?  What are their negatives?  Is it hard to break through?

Are you on Nextdoor currently?  How are you using it?

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Always Learning: What I Learned About Church From Walmart

In John Maxwell’s book How Successful People Think, the story is told of Sam Walton, founder of Walmart, when the store chain was just taking off.  Sam took a couple of his colleagues, regional store managers to visit some of the competition in Huntsville, AL.  Don Soderquist (later, CEO of Walmart) related the story:

“We went into one [store], and I have to tell you that it was the worst store I’ve ever seen in my life. It was terrible. There were no customers. There was no help on the floor. The aisles were cluttered with merchandise, empty shelves, dirty, it was absolutely terrible. He [Walton] walked one way and I’d walk the other way and we’d kinda meet out on the sidewalk. He said “What’d you think, Don?”

I said, “Sam, that is the absolutely worst store I’ve ever seen in my life. I mean, did you see the aisles?”

He said, “Don, did you see the pantyhose rack?”

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Can We Stop Talking About Technology Like It’s An Enemy?

One of the questions I get asked frequently is about technology… about what tools I’m using, what new things I’m trying.  This week, I’m launching my first e-book: “The Top 9 Tech Tools and Apps I’m Using to Get More Done!”  In it, I share my favorite tools, and how I’m using each one.

Before you download and read it, a few words on the role of technology in your life:

Technology is not a savior or an enemy.  It’s a magnifier.

It’s kind of popular to talk about tech as a savior (“This app is the greatest thing ever…”) or enemy (“it will make you ADHD and you’ll forget how to talk.”)  But the truth is that it’s neither.  The iPhone, the laptop… they didn’t cause your issues.  They are only “magnifiers.”  They simply magnify your strengths or weaknesses.

If you were easily distracted, not disciplined, lustful & have little self-control:

  • …just wait until you meet Facebook & Youtube!  Your problem is about to be magnified.
  • …just wait until you meet the 12% of the internet that is porn.
  • …wait until you have a video game permanently implanted in your life.

On the other hand, if you are growing in focus, discipline, spiritual desire and maturity:

  • …just wait until you have an audio & text version of the Bible permanently implanted in your life!
  • …just wait until you have tools that let you capture great ideas.
  • …just wait until you have tools that allow you to keep commitments, track time, and manage details.

In other words:

…wait until you see what happens when you meet the tools & apps I talk about in this e-book!

  • Evernote
  • MightyText
  • Todoist
  • SmartReceipts
  • If This, Then That
  • Google Drive
  • Google Calendar (& Business Calendar)
  • Morning Routine Alarm Clock
  • StayFocusd Chrome Extension

And every one is free!  Or at least they all have a free level or option.

So cut out the dramatic language about technology, and just go get busy magnifying what you do best.  If you like the ebook, share this post with someone who might find that it can take their productivity up a notch!

Get the Free E-book!

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Four Starter Steps to Fight Porn In Your Home

Pornography is big business in America.  Approximately $12 billion annually is spent on pornography.  To put that in perspective, the 100 largest missions organizations in America received 3 billion in a recent year.  Porn is about equal to the energy drink market in the US.  Close your eyes and visualize all the energy drinks in all the gas stations, grocery stores & Walmarts in America… there you go.  (If you haven’t read my last post on porn, and how pervasive it is in our culture, there are more stats there.)

In the last few weeks, a study on pornography among young people by the Barna Group commissioned by Josh McDowell was completed.  The results were startling.  76% of young people who identified as Christians sought out porn regularly.   Perhaps even more shocking were their views on it.  To quote the news story: “…while 52 percent of young Christian adults ‘would say that not recycling is morally wrong, only 32 percent would say watching pornography is morally wrong.'”

In that kind of world, how do we protect our families, our hearts, our churches?

Here are four beginning suggestions:

1. Build technological walls between your family and sin.

No one in today’s world — NO. ONE. — should have an unsecured, unfiltered internet connection. There are multiple tools available to do this, at reasonable cost (or no cost!). Invest the time. Get them. Learn them. Use them. Here are my favorites:

  •  OpenDNS – this software lives on your wireless router (not the computer), so it filters every device connected to your network. Invaluable, and free. Slightly more complicated to install than other programs. Very dependable in blocking. Not as powerful in monitoring and reporting.
  • Covenant Eyes. Filtering program for computers and phones. No child should have a smartphone or tablet without it. Not free, but excellent.
  • K9 Web Protection – Good, and free.  Custom lists, forced SafeSearch, time restrictions, reports… I’m impressed they can provide this much horsepower for free.  Multiple platforms available.
  • X3Watch – Free phone reporting app, sends your browsing history to an accountability partner. Somewhat weak on what it catches, but free. Barebones option. Also has a paid version of filtering software for computers.
  • Purify – this web service (and Chrome extension) shows Youtube videos, and strips away all the sidebars, comments, suggested videos, etc. Excellent idea for those who need to use Youtube, but dislike the abundance of sensuality & vulgarity in the suggested video thumbnails.
  • Mobicip – A free version & paid version.  Mobicip has apps & filters for all platforms.  I’m currently test driving this one on my Android phone and my PC.

2. Pray like crazy.

While we may fight with digital means, the protection of our homes is fundamentally a spiritual battle. Fasting and prayer for your family simply can’t be replaced.

3. Communicate often.

Cultivate honesty & willingness to share about these things by starting early. Talk about it with your children.

Discuss it with your spouse.  Men, share this parable with your wives:
Imagine that the Scripture condemns eating chocolate. Not only does it condemn it, but it condemns looking at it, and wanting to eat it. Then imagine that everyone ate chocolate. There were books about it. 12% of all websites were about chocolate. TV shows featured it, celebrities discussed their chocolate lives on talk shows.  Popular songs discussed chocolate openly.  Magazines and billboards featured half-unwrapped chocolate bars. Now, how hard is it not to think about chocolate?

Ladies, “Is it really like that?” is a question you need to ask of your husbands. If he’s honest, he’ll say yes.  But the conversation you have after he does will be important.

And you’ll need plenty of this next principle:

4. Create an atmosphere of grace.

I’ll be honest. You can’t build walls high enough to completely solve the problem. You can’t have enough tech tools. You can’t check up enough to prevent the possibility.  Odds are extremely high that your husband, your child, will see something impure.  Perhaps even intentionally.  What then?

Be very careful how you respond.  You have two choices: Law and Grace.

Paul says the law is clear that “the person who DOES these things shall live by them.” (Romans 10:5, NKJV). But the opposite is also true. The person who doesn’t — will die by them. And if the atmosphere of your home is one of law; if you’ve created an atmosphere of law, fear, condemnation, ultimatums… then the threat of condemnation will add to the guilt of their conscience and keep them from coming to you.  They may try to repent & seek forgiveness from Christ, but they won’t seek you out.

Please take it from me as a man who has struggled deeply in this area, received grace from others, & come thru to victory: Grace is more powerful than sin. Law is not… but grace is.

Someday I’ll share my story.  For now — grace, my friends.  Grace.

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How to Build a Morning Routine – Part 2

How I Capture the Most Important Part of the Day

There isn’t one “right” morning routine.  It’s built on your values and realities.  My reality is self-employed (pastor) and 6 kids.  Yours might look totally different.  But for some ideas and encouragement, here’s a walkthru of my morning routine, from start to finish, with tips of what makes it work better for me.

If you want to read the first post I wrote on this, you’ll need to go here: How to Build a Morning Routine In 7 Steps.

First 90: Getting Started Right

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10 Ways Evernote Is Making Pastoring Easier For Me

I am loving Evernote.  I had an account with Evernote for a couple years, but I confess I didn’t see the benefits & uses at the time, so I didn’t start using it. Then I read a post by Michael Hyatt on how he uses Evernote, and it opened my eyes to the possibilities. Since then, Evernote has become one of my absolute favorite tools.

It’s really useful on on a personal level — I keep my budget there, gift lists, etc. But in this post, I’ll talk about how I’m using it professionally in my ministry work. Here’s what I’m doing with it, and how it’s making my life easier as a pastor: