I recently sat down with Chris Cravens. Chris served as a pastor of the Bible Methodist Church in Findlay, OH for years, and now serves as Conference President of the Heartland Regional Conference of the Bible Methodists.
Chris shared a lot of wisdom in this interview. I hope it’s a blessing to you!
I recently sat down with Chris Cravens for an interview. Chris served as the pastor of Findlay Bible Methodist Church, in Findlay, OH for years. During that time, the church experienced a tremendous turnaround and solid, sustainable growth.
Chris just crackles with passion for God and lost people.
I interviewed him for an hour, covering all kinds of topics, and that interview will be released on my Small Church Pastor coaching program very soon.
But this was a key moment in the interview for me… when he talked about getting away with God for times of solitude and prayer. Watch it here:
Wow… Mind blown.
What do you think? Is he right? How can you do that? If you can’t do it NOW… how can you work toward it?
If you’re like me, you’ve struggled to MAKE yourself do things. Even things you know will help your situation… they’re still hard. But don’t despair!
To that end, here’s a life-altering thing I’m learning right now about my own willpower, captured in this week’s 5-Minute Mentoring Video.
One of my biggest regrets about the early years of my pastoral ministry is that I didn’t invest in a regular, paid coaching program for pastors. While no one can ever say what “would have happened” I feel pretty confident that I’d be further up the road, my church would be better off, and I’d have skipped over some of the mistakes I’ve made.
If you’re a smaller church pastor, you know that not all coaching is created equal. Some of it is more fitted for large churches with multiple staff, large budgets… churches that have approximately the same population in their bathroom as your sanctuary!
If you’d like to hear more about it, check out my Small Church Pastor Coaching Membership. Here’s what’s included:
One Unit per month is added, and members have access to the ENTIRE ARCHIVE of past topics. Current and upcoming topics include:
Each Unit includes a 30-60 minute video training, handouts, resources, and links to sermons you can preach on these topics in your own church.
I use the app Marco Polo for Q&A, and respond as quickly as possible to your further questions on any topic in the archive.
RESOURCES INCLUDE:
* Complete Sermon Resource file – the best from 15 years of messages
* Graphic Design Templates:
2 ebooks (including early release)
40 Day Church Prayer and Fasting Campaign
* Administrative File (Worship Program Swipe File, Sign-up Sheets)
* ALL 5 Minute Mentoring Videos before they are publicly posted.
(20 topics and counting! Personal time management, leading change, Lowering Sunday Stress, Sharing the Gospel, and many more!)
I’m one of those guys who quickly scans what’s included, and goes to the bottom for the cost. 🙂
This $30/mo membership is packed with valuable information that is specifically tailored to the needs of small church pastors. Small Church pastors are incredibly important, but often do not receive the respect they deserve… and too often, they don’t respect themselves enough to invest in their leadership growth!
Invest in your ministry today, and get complete access to the library of small church coaching videos as well as an archive of sermons, documents, administrative helps, hours of recorded videos, and a helpful video messaging private group where you can ask further questions. Find your supportive community for small church pastors today!
My Coaching membership for small church pastors are available here: darrellstetler2.com/pastorcoaching
If you don’t think it’s worth it, cancel in the first 14 days, and you’ll get your money back. Zero risk, No Hassle.
Peter Drucker once said something about like this, “A prerequisite for a career in ministry should be a 6 week intensive course in saying ‘NO.’ Yet no such course exists.”
Can you relate as a pastor? It’s tough to find the wisdom to know when to say YES and when to say NO. Often we feel pressure to say yes when:
Pastors struggle with all these things, pretty much weekly.
Here’s a quick 5 minute video that will help. It’s entitled 7 Good Reasons Pastors Should Say NO.
If you’d like a TON more of this kind of content, you need to check this out:
I’ve decided to open up my Small Church Coaching Membership site to any pastor.
Here’s what’s included:
One Unit per month is added, and members have access to the ENTIRE ARCHIVE of past topics. Current and upcoming topics include:
Each Unit includes a 30-60 minute video training, handouts, resources, and links to sermons you can preach on these topics in your own church.
I use the app Marco Polo for Q&A, and respond as quickly as possible to your further questions on any topic in the archive.
RESOURCES INCLUDE:
* Complete Sermon Resource file – the best from 15 years of messages
* Graphic Design Templates:
2 ebooks (including early release)
40 Day Church Prayer and Fasting Campaign
* Administrative File (Worship Program Swipe File, Sign-up Sheets)
* ALL 5 Minute Mentoring Videos before they are publicly posted.
(20 topics and counting! Personal time management, leading change, Lowering Sunday Stress, Sharing the Gospel, and many more!)
I’m one of those guys who quickly scans what’s included, and goes to the bottom for the cost. 🙂
This $30/mo membership is packed with valuable information that is specifically tailored to the needs of small church pastors. Small Church pastors are incredibly important, but often do not receive the respect they deserve… and too often, they don’t respect themselves enough to invest in their leadership growth!
Invest in your ministry today, and get complete access to the library of small church coaching videos as well as an archive of sermons, documents, administrative helps, hours of recorded videos, and a helpful video messaging private group where you can ask further questions. Find your supportive community for small church pastors today!
My Coaching membership for small church pastors are available here: darrellstetler2.com/pastorcoaching
If you don’t think it’s worth it, cancel in the first 14 days, and you’ll get your money back. Zero risk, No Hassle.
I’ve been silent for quite some time on this blog. It’s been quite a journey over the last 9 months, a journey mostly covered in sheetrock dust.
My family, with all 7 kids, lived in a 3 bed, 1 full bath parsonage of about 1100 sq. ft. for the last 15 years. (OK, we didn’t have 7 kids 15 years ago, but…) Last fall, we bought a 4,300 sq ft home (6 bed, 3 full/2 half bath), and started a remodel process that took us about 6 months to complete. I’ll tell the whole story sometime… it’s a story full of answered prayers, and God’s amazing faithfulness. If you want pictures of our very own “fixer-upper,” I would point you toward this video tour I put on Facebook early in April of 2018.
But for now, I’m coming back to the blog.
I’m focusing in for a time on a new idea that I’m testing. I love
I want to do a better job sharing things that I’ve learned over the years. So I’m here today to announce:
This temporary coaching program will:
I’ll be watching to see how this comes together, and I’ll cut it off after 15 guys join. I’ll check out your video questions, think it over, and then record a response.
I have no idea how this will work. 🙂 But hey, that’s the joy of trying stuff… just to find out what happens.
Looking forward to chatting with you!
If the stats are right, several pastors reading this are burned out and thinking of quitting… or at least wishing it could happen. The old joke about “writing your resignation letter every Monday” has a grain of truth. You’re burned out. Used up. Frustrated. In conflict. Spiritually drained. Unappreciated.
I don’t know if you’re one of those. I hope not. But odds are, someone reading this said under your breath, “That’s me.”
For the next few minutes, I’m talking to you.
For just the next few minutes, you are a boxer. The bell has rung, ending the round — just in time. Literally, saved by the bell. You stagger back to the corner, battered and bleeding. Collapsing onto the stool, you say, “I’m done. I can’t do it. I’ve got to quit.” A quick swipe of the towel, and I’m down in your face. Through clenched teeth, in a low growl, here’s what I’ve got to say:
Not all pastors are called to blowout success. I don’t know the “Why of heaven” on this. But you know in your gut it’s true — there are too many godly & gifted men through history who didn’t see big numbers. If you see this as the calling of God to face the attack of the enemy, it makes a difference.
Don’t quit because of a season! You can outlast that critic. Those children will not always be so small. God will answer prayer. Someone will be changed. You will not always feel this alone. Your spouse will not always be sick.
You must — you MUST. Watch this video.
I know you’re doubting it will ever be any different, and thinking that you have no more strength. But remember your brothers & sisters in Moslem countries. Remember those have lost eyes, hands, jobs… those who have been tied to stakes and flogged.
They found that Christ was worth the pain. They found that He satisfies here on Earth, and they proved his supreme worth by what they suffered. And when we arrive in heaven, whatever pain you’re experiencing will only produce greater glory when you’re in His All-Satisfying Presence.
1 Corinthians 4:9 For it seems to me that God has put us apostles on display at the end of the procession, like men condemned to die in the arena. We have been made a spectacle to the whole universe, to angels as well as to men.
10 We are fools for Christ… We are weak… we are dishonored!
11 To this very hour we go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless.
12 We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it;
13 when we are slandered, we answer kindly. Up to this moment we have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world. (NIV)
Get your head up. No, look up here. Look me in the eye.
Grit your teeth and say it: I will not quit.
No, don’t you mumble and drop your eyes. LOOK AT ME.
Say it.
SAY IT.
I WILL NOT QUIT.
Now, call a preacher friend or mentor and tell them you’re not going to quit. Email me and tell me you need prayer, but you’re not going to quit. I will stop and pray for you as soon as I get the email. We are in this thing together. We need you. No more men running for the safety of the rear lines while the shells of the enemy scream overhead!
Then, go read this post about action steps you can take if you’re burned out and discouraged as a pastor!
Hey pastors! As one of you for the last 21 years, I know all about pastoral stress… and how it can damage your ministry and your creativity.
If you haven’t read Stephen Covey’s excellent book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” you’re missing out. Out of the many helpful things in the book, here’s one I have found most useful: Covey’s distinction between URGENT things and IMPORTANT things.
He draws a matrix like this:
As you can see, Quadrant 1 is Urgent & Important. Quadrant 2 is Important, but not Urgent.
Now, think about your life in terms of this diagram.
I think of Sunday as a Quadrant 1 day. If you don’t lead worship, don’t preach… if you fail to do whatever your core activities are, there will be an immediate negative effect. Some activities eventually change quadrants. For instance, sermon prep is a Quadrant 2 activity on Tuesday, but Saturday night… it’s moved up.
Here’s why it’s better to do activities while they’re still in Quadrant 2:
Living your whole life in Quadrant 1 means you’ll be like Mario, leaping from crisis to crisis, barely escaping destruction at each turn, always inches from disaster.
It means not being able to sleep because of the stress of upcoming deadlines.
That’s exhausting. Better to live in Quadrant 2, where you do important things before they move into Quadrant 1.
You do better quality thinking when you’re relaxed. Research is clear: You make better quality decisions when your stress is lower.
In his ground-breaking book Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, Malcolm Gladwell tells of a study where college students were brought to a snack table, and offered a choice between healthy snacks (fruit, etc) and unhealthy snacks (cookies, cupcakes). Half of the students were given a phone number to memorize and repeat back after the snack. Those students were much more likely to choose the unhealthy snack. Why? They defaulted, under even that mild stress, to choosing what was immediately rewarding, instead of what was smarter.
Ever think that your creativity goes up right before the deadline? It doesn’t. Your desperation does. You may produce, but it’s not your creativity that gets your sermon finished! It’s shame, and the potential embarrassment of having nothing to say.
It’s not more creative, it’s just… finished.
Instead, take time and focus early in the week to get in a creative flow. (I’ll be writing more on this soon.) You may not think of yourself as a particularly creative person, but I bet that you’re more creative when you aren’t “under the gun.”
In Quadrant 2, when you think of a really creative way to present a sermon, you can do it. You can find that prop, create that Powerpoint, locate that great historical story, find that song that complements, think of that person whose testimony should be shared.
But in Quadrant 1, even if you think of it, you often don’t have enough time to do anything about it. I’ve been there too many times, finishing up a sermon on Sunday morning, when I realized – “You know what would be GREAT?!… ah, never mind, I don’t have time to do that this morning!”
Don’t do it. Commit to living in the Important, not Urgent.
“What if I’m already overwhelmed? How do I get into Quadrant 2 when Quadrant 1 is already so full?”
I’m glad you asked. You can’t just stop doing Quadrant 1 activities. Everything would fall apart, because they really ARE important! There are only 2 places that you can find time to do Quadrant 2 activities at first: Quadrants 3 & 4.
Here’s what that might look like:
And do something Quadrant 2. Like this:
I think you’ll find that if you’ll do this for a week, Quadrant 1 will be slightly smaller, and Quadrant 2 will be slightly larger.
Now, imagine 6 months from now, if you did that every day!
There’s a powerful story in Mark Twain’s book, Huckleberry Finn. Last year, I read this book to my children, and was so struck by this story, that I stopped to highlight it.
In a town Huck is visiting, an angry mob gathers, infuriated over the actions of a man named Sherburn. Read on if you’re a real man:
Well, by and by somebody said Sherburn ought to be lynched. In about a minute everybody was saying it; so away they went, mad and yelling, and snatching down every clothes-line they come to to do the hanging with. They swarmed up towards Sherburn’s house, a-whooping and raging… They swarmed up in front of Sherburn’s palings as thick as they could jam together, and you couldn’t hear yourself think for the noise. It was a little twenty-foot yard. Some sung out “Tear down the fence! tear down the fence!” Then there was a racket of ripping and tearing and smashing, and down she goes, and the front wall of the crowd begins to roll in like a wave.
Just then Sherburn steps out onto the roof of his little front porch, with a double-barrel gun in his hand, and takes his stand, perfectly ca’m and deliberate, not saying a word. The racket stopped, and the wave sucked back. Sherburn never said a word—just stood there, looking down. The stillness was awful creepy and uncomfortable. Sherburn run his eye slow along the crowd; and wherever it struck the people tried a little to outgaze him, but they couldn’t; they dropped their eyes and looked sneaky. Then pretty soon Sherburn sort of laughed; not the pleasant kind, but the kind that makes you feel like when you are eating bread that’s got sand in it. Then he says, slow and scornful:
“The idea of you lynching anybody! It’s amusing. The idea of you thinking… you had grit enough to lay your hands on a man! Why, a man’s safe in the hands of ten thousand of your kind—as long as it’s daytime and you’re not behind him.
“…I know you clear through. I was born and raised in the South, and I’ve lived in the North; so I know the average all around. The average man’s a coward… Why don’t your juries hang murderers? Because they’re afraid the man’s friends will shoot them in the back, in the dark—and it’s just what they would do. So they always acquit; and then a man goes in the night, with a hundred masked cowards at his back, and lynches the rascal.
“Your mistake is, that you didn’t bring a man with you; that’s one mistake, and the other is that you didn’t come in the dark and fetch your masks. You brought part of a man—Buck Harkness, there—and if you hadn’t had him to start you, you’d ‘a’ [never come].
“You didn’t want to come. The average man don’t like trouble and danger. You don’t like trouble and danger. But if only half a man—like Buck Harkness, there—shouts ‘Lynch him! lynch him!’ you’re afraid to back down—afraid you’ll be found out to be what you are—cowards—and so you raise a yell, and hang yourselves onto that half-a-man’s coat-tail, and come raging up here, swearing what big things you’re going to do.
“The pitifulest thing out is a mob… But a mob without any man at the head of it is beneath pitifulness. Now the thing for you to do is to droop your tails and go home and crawl in a hole. If any real lynching’s going to be done it will be done in the dark… and when they come they’ll bring their masks, and fetch a man along. Now leave—and take your half-a-man with you”—tossing his gun up across his left arm and cocking it when he says this.
The crowd washed back sudden, and then broke all apart, and went tearing off every which way, and Buck Harkness he heeled it after them, looking tolerable cheap.
I could ‘a’ stayed if I wanted to, but I didn’t want to.
A man can speak for himself.
Don’t join the mob just because they’re screaming loudly, and you don’t want to be taken for a coward.
A man takes responsibility for his actions.
A man feels the fear and walks toward the danger anyway.
A man can look his critics in the eye.
A man can take criticism without breaking, because he hears the Other Voice.
A man doesn’t have to run down his opponents.
A man doesn’t have to quit.
I don’t know what you’re facing, pastor.
It may be an angry mob.
It may be spiritual attack.
It may be the forces of hell lining up against you in temptation.
It may be criticism.
And frankly, if it’s one of these, it’s often ALL of them.
Whatever it is, you can face it.
Surveys say that most pastors have felt like quitting in the past 12 months. If you feel like you’re about to crack wide open, drop in your tracks, or get a Pez dispenser full of Tums to keep your stomach calm…You may be feeling as though God is angry with you, and would push you to keep going, do more, try harder… and you’re dead wrong.
Give me a chance to prove it: Check out how God responded to an exhausted prophet.
There isn’t one “right” morning routine. It’s built on your values and realities. My reality is self-employed (pastor) and 6 kids. Yours might look totally different. But for some ideas and encouragement, here’s a walkthru of my morning routine, from start to finish, with tips of what makes it work better for me.
If you want to read the first post I wrote on this, you’ll need to go here: How to Build a Morning Routine In 7 Steps.